--transcript of patient's responses, sunday the thirteenth --

Feel? (chuckles) How do I feel? (pause) Well I suppose I don’t know how I feel. (pause) Yes, I’ve been angry, upset, all of that, but how do I feel now? Like, right now? I don’t know. I don’t really feel pain. I guess (pause) I guess I sort of ache. Like there was pain, but it’s faded out. (pause) I guess this is what it feels like to be exhausted, but like emotionally. (pause) My feelings are tired.
What? Normal? Well it’s not normal for me and I doubt it’s normal for anyone else. Just because I’m not currently (pause) sad or angry or (pause) doesn’t mean I’m alright (long pause) There’s nothing alright about lying foetal on the kitchen tiles, naked, at one thirty-four am. (long pause) One thirty-four. Don’t ask me why I know that, but that was the time. (pause) I know that.
Who am I waiting for? (long pause) That’s much too personal. I thought she was (pause) No, that’s much too personal. Ask something else.
Why do I keep forgiving people? (chuckles) you make it sound like I’m doing something wrong (laughs) Who knows, maybe I am, I dunno (pause) It seems to me that getting angry, holding grudges, doesn’t do anything. (pause) people get upset and nothing changes. (pause) I guess (pause) I guess that when you really look at the part you play, the part she plays, the big picture, the past and future and whole shebang, grudges seem pointless (pause) There’s no reason you shouldn’t forgive (long pause)
What? No, I didn’t say she (pause)
Take me back to my room, I don’t want to talk anymore.